Notice To People Who Visit My House

1.     The dogs live here, you don’t.

2.     If you don’t want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3.     Yes, they have some disgusting habits. So do I and so do you. What’s your point?

4.     OF COURSE they smell like dogs!

5.     It’s their nature to sniff your crotch, feel free to sniff theirs.

6.     I like them a lot better than I like most people

7.     To you, they are dogs. To us they are adopted children who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don’t speak clearly. We have no problem with these things.

8.     Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don’t ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don’t hang out with drug using friends, don’t smoke or drink, don’t worry whether they have the latest fashions, don’t wear your clothes, don’t need a trillion dollars for college, and if they do get pregnant you can sell the pups.

9.     The same applies to cats, except they will ignore you… until you’re asleep.

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